Awakening to the magic all around us all of the time through the power of nature, connection and mindfulness, insight and photography…doing my part to share beauty with heart.
Every day there is a chance to tune into beauty. I find the more I tune into beauty, the more magic arises. Beings that I never would encounter when I first moved to the area are felt and seen as family on the land where I live. What kind of world would it be if we embraced the various forms of life as precious? Isn’t it a miracle that the land where I walk was once a place that people trained for war and now it is a place where kids can mountain bike, people can walk and animals can be themselves without the fear of bullets whizzing by? Bullets are a daily thing on my walk, they are scattered all over the trails and I even pulled one out of a tree. It is our choice whether we nurture beauty or nurture war.
This grand old world is home to so many more than just the ones who came most recently…humans. In times of great chaos and uncertainty I take refuge in the Earth whose wholesomeness and deep wisdom abides day and night. They are everywhere but many of us do not notice, some of us don’t care that there are so many other forms of life right before our eyes. It took for me time to notice, to learn how to listen for the beings out on this land. This has been their home for a very long time. The more I connect with the land the more I meet the magic in every direction.
“This has been there home for a very long time…”
I smile to the earth I know well and I smile to the earth I have not yet gotten to know. Just like I smile to the animals that I know well and the ones I have not yet learned about yet. Do you notice the beauty right at your feet? Or what grows when? Noticing the dainty mushrooms that pop up in clusters or alone in spring, I know their life span is not very long. Do you notice when the first butterflies emerge? Do you wonder how it was for the caterpillar who found itself dying so the butterfly could live?
There is a natural rhythm to the dance of life and death. A cycle of hide and seek. If we are paying attention joy can be at our feet, in the sky, in the dew drop hanging onto a blade of grass. Wake up, they are saying, let’s enjoy each other. “Come out of your thinking mind or you will miss me,” says the butterfly. Like the butterfly and the mushroom, we humans are not here for very long either. Where will you place your attention for that brief time?
“Come out of your thinking mind or you will miss me.”
Recently I decided to take the long route to visit my dad. He is coming up on 96 years old. Usually I meticulously plan my visit to Colorado from California to take the least amount of time off work and the least number of minutes in an airport. I literally am running between flights every time I go. In my conditioning there was some sort of pride about ‘not wasting time.’ You know the “efficiency” programming is not only in Elon Musk. We all have a little dose of ‘be productive damn it, and don’t waste time!’ Or at least I do. So it was a big swing out from that programming when I chose to drive to see my dad and take as much time off as I could, instead of as little time off. How much beauty can I allow myself to take in? How does this epic beauty from billions of years of Earth time change my perspective of what is unfolding right now in human time?
“How much beauty can I allow myself to take in?“
Some kinds of beauty humble me a bit quicker than others. Like walking next to a sheer rock face that goes hundreds of feet up into the sky and I feel like an ant walking at it’s base. I don’t know this land from my road trip quite as well but it’s epic beauty calls for humility of my humanity. And AWE. How many different humans for example have taken refuge in the rock caves I saw out on my walks? You know…before heating, air conditioning and airplanes? How many more generations will look up from the phone to be able to see the beauty in every direction?
Not every one gets to take a road trip to see a dad that has mellowed like lovely tea over the last two decades. Not everyone can see all of this beauty I have just seen. But everyone has some sort of beauty just waiting to be noticed around them. The question is, does it shift perspective to reflect on the ancient beauty and wisdom of this beautiful Earth? Yes, it does shift perspective to come back to nature. To unplug. To disconnect and redirect focus to the Epic Beauty of every day life right here and now. But don’t take my word for it, do your own research in your own neighborhood and wake up to the beauty at your own feet.
“…everyone has some sort of beauty just waiting to be noticed around them.”
So it may be a bit of an understatement to say I’m not an early adapter. It’s amazing I”m walking upright on two legs having made the leap (without technology I might add) from all fours to a fully upright walking humanoid. Bravo! When it comes to technology however, the pattern of regressing back into diapers can happen. I just want to throw my head back in full tantrum mode yelling, “I don wanna!” That has been part of my machinery, part of my B.S. That is up until now, because now I am diving into upgrading old B.S.
Some may assume I mean bullsh*t when I say “B.S” I leave it to you to decide if that fits. I am actually referring to Belief Systems. Somewhere along the line it got hard wired into me that learning new tech stuff is an unwanted pain in my butt. But if you look under that belief there is the lil kid of me with knees knocking together saying more…”I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m stupid. It’s hard.” And on and on. We usually just see the top layer of the belief and rarely go a few layers down. Like a Belief layer cake they are all piled one on top of the other covered by the frosting called ‘resistance.’
So I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but technology has it’s little hands in everything. Often times making things possible that were never possible before…like zoom meetings with people coming into the same space from all over the world. Or the fantastic cameras on cellphones these days. Or, well I”m sure there’s other stuff too.
Back to my own belief and how it has held me back. I LOVE nature. Love sharing nature, love writing, love sharing transformation. So out of my love and passion for those things, I committed to some upgrades in technology. Like a new printer (not new any more), a new imac (sort of new) and a new wild life camera. All a part of the master plan of launching into livelihood I love.
Do you ever notice you put things off that you don’t feel skilled at? Is that just me, or is that a we thing? Like if I put it off long enough, I’ll get confident and skilled and want to use the thousand dollar camera I bought!
Bringing old B.S. out of the shadows and into the light takes a gentle touch and compassion. It usually is just a little kid’s story anyways. We don’t want to hit our little kid upside the head. It’s more like acknowledging that maybe what the little kid has made up isn’t actually true. Like maybe the boogie man doesn’t live under the bed. And maybe I don’t need to be a rocket scientist to set up an imac or my wildlife camera. It doesn’t have to be true to be a road block. That is why occasional upgrades are so important!
So going all in on a belief upgrade would be to say, “this could actually be fun!” These beliefs aren’t only around technology. If you look in your own closet you might see some beliefs that have been hanging out for a long time taking up space but not really benefiting you.
One of my ancestral belief patterns is “I don’t need your help.” Even if a little bit of help would be just lovely. The automatic thought, the automatic words are ‘I got this.’ I remember walking with my dad in ski boots looking for his car at altitude when he forgot where he parked. We are walking, no idea at all where we are going, half frozen. A kind soul stopped and rolled down the window, “Need a lift?” “Nope, no thanks!” I could have socked him one. (Not really my hands were frozen.)
Fast forward a million years and I’m in my apartment trying to lug a queen sized mattress by myself to the garage. You ever have those moments when there is an out of body witness watching you do what you are doing and they are shaking their head at you? I know my neighbors on both sides and have good relations. It’s amazing I could get this huge thing into the garage on my own. I could have asked for help but the machinery from old B.S. just did not permit that grace. So where do you have some old machinery running?
“It’s amazing I could get this huge thing into the garage on my own.“
By the way this is not just an individual thing. It’s transmitted in families and by culture. Yet it is invisible and unacknowledged by most. There is such power in being able to look at the wiring of beliefs that are running my life. Because then I can entice new beliefs into the game. Back to the camera. It took time, but eventually I did decide to shift my attitude and found such ease in setting up wildlife settings with the free help of an online offering by a very young and passionate wildlife photographer. In the time it’s taken me to get it set up, he’d grown into a young man that has made a wildlife documentary. Resistance from old stories causes delay. Sometimes forever, sometimes a week, sometimes years. Sniff out those old stories that feed beliefs that are full of b.s.
Our culture is an instant gratification fest. So learning a new skill that takes more than two seconds…have to think about that. And I am thinking about the fact I’ve never cropped a photo and never edited a photo. So new skills are awaiting. What if that was a good thing?
Here’s another thing I noticed in my belief system. I expect things to last forever. Like I will use something until it is totally warn out. I drove my last car over 240,000 miles. But that is just one option. You can sell stuff! You can sell camera equipment! It’s not a marriage. So that was another belief. That there is just the one way. Use it forever. Rather than, if this is not fun I can sell my lenses. To be open to see it unfold is something that takes the pressure off. That transfers to any area of life.
Our beliefs shape how and what we see. I was lugging this huge wildlife lens around on my walk today and I witnessed the thought, ‘bird photography is hard with this…” As I witnessed the thought, I replaced it with it could be easy. I found a bird that just wanted to give me a million chances to photograph him. I took so many pictures, playing with the different buttons in between. So what drew me into this in the first place is love of land, love of animals and wanting to honor nature and share her beauty. The rest is just minutia. But sometimes I forget that. The hawks also gave me a million opportunities today to photograph them. More on that later. I laid on my back and found I was much less shaky holding that huge thing to take the photos. It’s all an experiment. Like the rest of life. Might as well have some fun with it.
I found a bird that just wanted to give me a million chances…
After all the magic is always around me, but it’s up to me to get out in it…
Like every other day, the earth comforted me today. She is always there, steadfast and true. I don’t have to make a date, I can just drop in whenever I like. I don’t have to pay money, I just pay attention. In a time where everything is clamoring for our attention be it family, screaming headlines, school, job, bills. You fill in your blank. The question is do you have time to take a walk about?
Me thinks the answer is yes, even if the mind says no. Back to Mother Earth…I have walked the walk from this morning hundreds if not over a thousand times. I know the land. I know the animals. I know some of the trees and I want to get to know more of the trees yet I notice something new every time I walk about. Listening with my whole being is a way of walking. Like a dance between myself and the land and all of the other beings on the land. I know it’s crazy, but there are other beings than humans! Sometimes they are watching me listening. They see me far before I see them. But by listening, I hear them watching.
The sunlight can be like that too. Sunlight in drops of water, sunlight in moss dangling from trees, sunlight seeping into a tree. There is so much magic everywhere if I am able to be present. When we were little kids we knew this. But somehow growing up can sometimes jade us. Time in nature is all it takes to rekindle the connection. It is through the connection that the magic knows to pop in.
…sunlight seeping into a tree.
On your walk about listen to all of the different languages. Look for all of the different homes of different creatures. If there is something that offers hope, it is the diversity of all life. Something particularly reassuring knowing it isn’t all about me…or you. It’s all of us, all different species in the seen and unseen realms. All different bird songs and all different human songs. Can you learn the language of another species? Do you have any curiosity about that? Today as soon as I stepped on the trail I heard Coyote howls greeting me from three different directions. That has never happened before. It was a special treat.
During these crazy times having a connection with nature is grounding and reassuring. Feel your feet connect with the earth, don’t let the attention stay on mental looping in the head. Listen with all of your senses. Breathe the air and realize not everyone has fresh air. See if you discover some other forms of life that delight you. There are so many different forms of life, and they are all relying on us to wake up from our collective trance.
See if you discover some other forms of life that delight you.
As you become more connected to nature the love in your heart will make you want to protect these beings you have a relationship with. Not unlike human relationships and wanting to look after your favorite peeps. Opening the doors and windows of our hearts to let in so many other different species and falling in love with them will help humans continue to thrive. Infact, it’s essential to widen our hearts to other species for humans to continue to survive. All of that is a little much. Let’s get back to just taking a walk about. Say hello to those who may be watching you listen for the magic. All blog photos I take myself and it is an expression of my love.
Say hello to those who may be watching you listen for the magic.
…I realize I actually have no idea how many beings are living in this one tree being.
In the United States, as we rise to a new reality of different leadership in government, ashes in Los Angeles and every kind of uncertainty on the horizon; I remind myself to look for the beauty. That’s not to say ignore everything else, but there is something beautiful if we are willing to see it on any day. I also remind myself not to get too sucked into the vortex of duality. Smile to all of it, breathe while you smile. It doesn’t even have to be a happy smile (though it could be!). Just a smile to help the face relax a bit, just a breath to remember to breathe is to be alive. When I look up into a tree, I realize I actually have no idea how many living beings are living in this one tree being. That alone makes me smile. Life is so much bigger, more vast and generous than one particular species in one particular time period.
Sometimes I think we, as humans, forget we are not the only show at the movie theater. But the times we are now in can provide rather abrupt awakenings. Bringing it back down to the wanderings through every day life; when I notice the beauty peaking out at me in ordinary moments unexpected joy arises. “Hi, I see you down there little mushrooms. And I”m happy you are there.” It takes being present to see anything outside our monotonous mental machinery. What a relief it is when presence pulls back the curtains to beauty.
“Hi, I see you down there little mushrooms.“
Maybe the term ‘look for’ doesn’t quite fit. Maybe it is more like be present and awake. The programming of western culture is to look for pretty much everything outside ourselves and outside the present moment. Like someone else is wiser, someone else knows the way, and later on when I’m more evolved…maybe I”ll get there too. But not now, I need to do some calisthenics, eat carrots and you get the idea…then ‘I’ll get there too.’ Or I could just notice the beautiful mushroom at my feet and the green grass encircling my toes and smile.
Letting in beauty and smiling are like nacho chips and cheese, they go together. Just like stress thoughts and shallow breath go together like ice cream and fudge. Kay, food is just one analogy. I am not a tech guru. That may be an understatement. I held onto my flip phone many years past when most people were on their smart phone.
My first “Selfie” was such a rude awakening. It was on accident and it was also an ah-hah moment. I was taking a nature walk and fiddling with my ‘new’ smarter than me phone and accidentally snapped the selfie. It showed a woman with pursed and frowning lips, a wrinkly furrowed brow and a face that just yelled…”I’m stressed!” It actually scared me to see it. Yikes, this could be what my co-workers see. To be fair, I was trying to ‘figure something out.’ But how often when we are out in beauty are we physically there but mentally trying to figure something out? Thinking is not a great gateway to present moment beauty.
So the “Selfie Moment” is one of those life long lessons. Here is your face on the smartphone trying to figure stuff out and here is your face on the earth basking in beauty and actually being in awe and inspiration….choose. When I forget, I get to choose again. Isn’t that an awesome gift? To be able to make a new choice at any moment?
I saw Turkey Vulture washing his face on a log…
A deep dive into death, can help wake us up. Turkey Vulture takes a deep dive into death to feed itself. Rather than killing an animal to feed itself, it feeds on those whom are already dead. I saw Turkey Vulture washing his face on a log after diving into death. This was on one of my last walks with my dog. Even that, was a moment of beauty and awe to me.
When I couldn’t breathe through my nose and wads of tissue were strewn all over the house and I just wanted to rest, it didn’t feel like beauty. Those times, make me appreciate the return to good health. Those times also led me to lay on the land, allowing Earth energy to sink into me. So who Nose what will create the conditions for our awareness of beauty to arise? Beauty can be rest. It can be solitude. It can be a conversation with a friend. It can be illness, which allows coming home for a while to self care. It can be the loss of a loved one. Yes, even grief and loss can have beauty. So like the Turkey Vulture, taking a deep dive into death can feed me too. It can feed my awareness to cherish life. It can remind me to smile gently to both life and death and all of the wonders within every day. Don’t forget to look down at your feet and up at the sky, and everywhere in between says Mother Earth. When I smile it is a thank you note for her. I see your beauty and I say thank you.
…I can still share a beautiful picture of when I last hiked a mountain.
“When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad…I simply remember my Favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad…” the character Maria sang in the classic musical movie The Sound of Music. During these times, especially if you are an empath, it’s important to connect with a few of your Favorite things regularly. The things that make you smile, the things that warm your heart. Whether it is time with a grand kiddo, petting your dog, or eating a piece of chocolate cake, don’t forget to feed your joy.
During a difficult divorce when my parents separated and I was just 7, I remember singing that song from The Sound of Music, during visits with my mom. It’s like she knew we needed to lift our own spirits so we could be joyfully together during an extraordinarily difficult time. That song has been rising from within me on walks on the land. It has been playing in my head. Maybe it’s my mom waving her hand and saying hello to me from the other side. It’s a difficult time for many on the planet right now. But looking for joy, watering the seeds of joy is a choice that helps us strengthen our spirit and body. Watering the seeds of gratitude is a practice.
Meeting yourself where you are…not doing a spiritual bypass to hop over grief is also a skill set we haven’t really been taught in this culture. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and. The degree that I can embrace grief and let it pass through is also the degree I can embody joy. There has been a lot to grieve. The fires in Los Angeles that have wiped some people’s homes and businesses out. Some people have been killed by fire. Immense numbers of nature beings are losing their lives and homes. The war in Gaza that has killed so many Palestinian children, and Israelis/ hostages in brutal ways. Collective and individually, these can be trying times. I sorely miss the presence of my Pitbull copilot who is no longer laying beneath my desk and snoring. After his passing I have the rare experience of getting sick. Which makes blog writing, easier. Otherwise I’d be out and about. Doing stuff. But now I get to share the practice of identifying your Favorite things, so you can amplify your joy and have tools to lift your vibration.
Community isn’t just people, it can be trees and animals.
One of the more magical things that has happened while I’ve been grieving my dog has been the connection with this Coyote. We both laid on the land a distance apart and rested one day. Grief can knock you on your ass. At least that has been my experience. So laying on the earth is one of my Favorite things. She is 4.6 billion years old. She has seen species and civilizations come and go. She has the immense capacity and generosity to allow me to let my grief sink into the earth beneath me. She is the great Composter, able to transform heavier energies into lighter energies. I trust Mother Earth to receive me with open arms. She is one of my Favorite things.
Coyote is also one of my Favorite things. Wild animals feel your love just like domesticated animals feel your love. Right now is a good time not to forget the wild animals and maybe put some prayers out for them. This friend has been by my side in a difficult time and she has made me smile during our encounters. I don’t know how long she will grace me with brief encounters, but she has already made a tremendous difference. I don’t take her for granted.
Be awake to the magic. The universe is there to support us even in difficult times. From the more difficult times connections arise that may not otherwise emerge. So learn to look at difficulty and see people in crisis in their power, strength and resilience. It does so much more for them than your pity. When I am in difficulty; I want people seeing me in my power and resilience, even if and especially if I don’t feel it in the moment. Having a community that holds us through the hardships is a Favorite thing. Sometimes they only arise from the hardship. I wouldn’t have the time or inclination to walk out on National Park of Fort Ord, if I had not lost my companion. Community isn’t just people, it can be trees and animals.
What are a few of your Favorite things? What has been medicine for you in difficult times? Make a list. Put something from the list on your calendar. In every day life it is easy to get busy doing and not really pay attention to anything not in your routine. Coming off auto pilot means looking at your life like a garden. What seeds do you want to see manifest?
Media is great at amplifying what is most horrific and traumatizing. This morning I have not yet looked at news. I chose creation instead of consumption. Creation of something that feeds beauty and joy. Even if I don’t have the energy right now to hike a mountain, I can still share a beautiful picture of when I last hiked a mountain. I can share about ‘raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens’ being a source of joy. And the little kid in you is asking, what have you done to bring joy in? Pink roses and that song make me think of my mom with a smile.
Pink roses and that song make me think of my mom with a smile.
For a new beginning to arise, an ending is needed.
It’s a rare opportunity to ride beside someone you deeply love all the way through all of it. The ups and the downs, the joys and the sorrows, the health and the illnesses. No, I’m not talking marriage vows; I’m talking any loved one. Human being, family member, friend, animal, tree, all beings. But going deep in connection has only happened for me with a handful of beings. In particular the above little guy who has been co-pilot for over thirteen years. I adopted Tollie at 4 months old from the Santa Cruz animal shelter and he adopted me by crawling into my lap and looking up into my face with those old soul brown eyes. Vicious Pitbull that he is, he loved space heaters, blankets and all things soft and cuddly.
When the end arrives, which it does sometimes unexpectedly, embrace the deep knowing that death is a doorway. There really is not ‘death’ of the spirit, but the body can and does fall away. For a new beginning to arise, an ending is needed.
Four years ago when I first was instructed by Spirit to “Prepare for your own death,” I took the guidance literally. I heard those words clearly when lightening was landing in a storm right outside my window at 3 am in winter of 2020. That lightning was not the only lightening strike and fires erupted the next day in Monterey county. Some burned for a month and the air quality became a daily issue as well as some friends losing their home. I had my instructions, prepare for your own death. It meant get a will and my first priority was lining up a care taker for Tollie. Parents first think of their kids well being, but for me my question was who will take Tollie and tend him after I’m gone? The list of trusted care takers was short.
Several friends did not have capacity to even have an animal where they live. Especially a Pitbull, which have been maligned and put on a discriminatory list of not allowed breeds by landlords. I actually had to get a medical letter from a doctor to find a place for me and Tollie to live. A friend reminded me that I could make an agreement with Spirit, I could ask to take him all the way through. We forget that we can make requests of Spirit. We can also make other requests…like I made a strong request to Tollie that he make it obvious when it’s time to go. So I Know/Know. Both of those requests were granted. Actually making my will is what spurred my strong intention to not need to have someone else adopt him. I would be by his side all of the way through and I was.
I would be by his side all of the way through and I was.
If you know there is an ending coming, do you see the present moment as a cherished gift? It’s over four years since I heard Spirit say prepare for your own death, and I’m still alive. But sadly for me, and not sadly for him…Tollie has passed out of his previous form. Death is a great awakener so Spirit also could have just been nudging me to wake up to the gift of life, to re-prioritize my life. Either way, it is a bigger assignment than just for me, myself and I. What would you do to ‘prepare for your own death?’
Dogs have the amazing capacity to just be. They don’t create intricate stories about their suffering and then enroll others in those stories. Tollie had not great health for years, but I thought I would still have him by my side a few more years. There were good days and not great days, just like any being who is getting up in years. This past Christmas/New Years I thought of doing a retreat but got the strong intuition to just BE with Tollie and stay close. Stay home. So we had the exquisite experience of lounging in each others company and cuddling as the medicine of choice. Going together to the ocean, we heard huge waves breaking. Don’t stop living just because you may be dying. That seemed to be the message we exchanged with each other every day. Every day get some love in…don’t put it off. Keep going until you can’t keep going anymore.
Every day get some love in…don’t put it off.
The first night of the New Year, I was on line looking up naturopathic ingredients for cooking meals that may alleviate what we thought was irritable bowl syndrome. He was laying behind me on his side and when I looked behind me he was in the middle of a full blown seizure. I thought he was dying. I had never seen a being in a seizure before. His body was rigid and his mouth was frothing and he didn’t seem able to see or hear me and his paws were paddling as if he was swimming. Eventually he got back up on his own started pacing and walking into walls in a very agitated state. Somehow I got him in the car and we went to the emergency vet. About ten minutes into being at the vet, Tolly regained his TOLLINESS and was hanging out on a dog bed saying, ‘Hey, why am I here?’ The vet tech educated me, “During a seizure their brain shuts down to protect them from the trauma…they don’t know what is happening.” “After the seizure they don’t have their eyesight back yet and they are disoriented.” She told me seizures are not uncommon for older dogs and it may be a one off. Being the eternal optimist, I decided to go with that story. But I also talked to a doc that said he may have a brain tumor and may have many, many more seizures. I chose not to do more tests.
For a new beginning to arise, there must be an ending. During Tollie’s first seizure I have to say I kind of lost it. But once I understood what was happening, things shifted. “Tollie is growing wings for his next incarnation and your strong emotions confuse him,” a friend texted the next morning. Got it. I’m here to escort you through life and death and know you have a team on the other side just like you have a team here. I had hope still of managing seizures with medicine but I had told him to let me know and that he has full permission to leave.
A few minutes after three pm when I was on a zoom meeting with my Mastermind Group…Tollie started another seizure. He chose a time when we all could hold him energetically and my friends saw it happening in the present. The meeting went on with me off screen while I held space for him energetically. I heard one of the members tell me, “He is not in pain, there is just love.” He was much, much less agitated after this seizure but I now knew that it was time. I had no question at all in my heart. January 2 at 6:30 pm my vet met me at her clinic and put Tollie down, after his fourth seizure in one day. Even in Tollie’s death he continued to be my teacher and he had let me know, so I honored my word.
Through Tollie’s seizures I remembered my own death experience following the Tibetan death meditation in Dharamshala, India over twenty years ago. We were guided to practice death during a meditation… guided through the order we would lose our capacities…hearing, sight, ability to speak, move. Following the end of the second round of that meditation, I had a spontaneous death experience after leaving the meditation hall. My hearing went, my eyesight went, I made it to a wall to sit on before my body collapsed. I could hear people talking to me but I couldn’t see who they were. I didn’t care either, because I was in the midst of this amazing and vast white light. I could see a Tibetan monk sitting about a hundred feet from me eating his lunch…and realized he could not see this vast light encompassing all of us. The person talking to me later said my face turned bluish and they thought I was having a seizure. They were very worried about me. I came back to and realized that it was a verification on my path, an answer to a prayer. It was Tollie who reminded me how it looks to others, isn’t how it is for the being who is in midst of transition.
I was able to sing to him at the end and tell him how much I love him and thank him over and over. I was able to do honorable closure with him. That night, late at night, I heard singing from just past the veil. Very feint. So much joy, celebration in that singing. So much life. Tollie was being honored, greeted, being loved on the other side, as he is here. Now he was free from a failing body and for him I’m happy that he gets to prepare for a new beginning.
…who let me know they are walking with me.
Part of my new beginning without him has been laying on the land letting the grief fall into Mother Earth. Being met over and over by Coyote on my walks, and remembering like Tollie…I’m held in this present moment by Spirit and that all is well. I have had the support of the four legged wild ones who let me know they are walking with me. One in particular has been my companion but I was blessed with connecting with her family, the whole pack. This new beginning for me will entail a whole lot more time in nature connecting with all of my friends. In these times of great dissolution and chaos, lets’ not forget the invisible realms where wisdom and love overflow. Let a new beginning be a blessing to all. Huzzah!
…I was blessed with connecting with her family, the whole pack.
In any kind of weather, know the importance of tending your beautiful heart. That heart is your treasure and keeping it open to first yourself is the key to meeting others where they are. First is to meet you where you are. Whether that is feeling joy, gratitude, despair, exhaustion or a combination. There is no shame or blame in the spot you find yourself in at this moment. It is simply to wrap your own arms around you and be the loving and tender mother to the little kid of you.
The little kid of me actually is the best part of me. The adult me can get haughty and condescending. When it doesn’t get its’ way it can get angry and exasperated. Sometimes the adult gets caught in shouldy mental looping. But the child of me cares for all of this big old world. The creatures, the children, the ocean, the mountains and the rivers are in my heart. Today the child in me was awakened when a young possum was stopping traffic on my street. I wasn’t sure what was holding us up until I saw her stopped in the middle of the road. Immediately, I got out of my car and scooped her up. I tried leaving her in some brush off the road but her little hands wrapped around my fingers and didn’t let go. I followed my intuition to keep her with me and took her to the wildlife animal hospital. I sang to her on the way and asked a friend to send healing reiki.
They freeze of play dead.
I don’t know much about possums. But she is darling with black ears tipped by ice cap white. The child was so grateful to wrap this little being up in light and love and sing to her. The mystery of this creature, learning about a new being is a joy. When I dropped her to the Wildlife Animal hospital the care taker seemed not that concerned. “That’s what possums do when they feel threatened. They freeze or play dead.” She was not dead because I saw her belly move with her breath. She is an adolescent but they told me they would keep her under observation for a day or two and she looked old enough to make it on her own.
I didn’t even know the name of this being, because I haven’t interacted with many marsupials. When I checked Animal Medicine it says possum medicine is for the those who care for the world’s children. So I am caring for the world’s children right now in this invitation on this day after a contentious and alarming election, to take care of the child of you. Only you can take care of the child in you. Be kind and gentle with yourself and that may radiate out to others.
…take care of the child of you.
Nature has all kinds of lessons for us if we are paying attention. Possum doesn’t take on a threat directly, it fakes it til it makes it out of danger by playing dead. The times we are in right now, all skill sets are welcome. But the thing I’m betting on right now is coming back to the childs’ heart and doubling down on love. Amplify the power of heart and send the waves of love out all over the earth. I have Mr. Trump to thank for that. Because I choose love. Not love of him, but love of all life, the earth and the generations to come. I choose gratitude to have twenty-four brand new hours to be awake to the miracle of this life. Was I frozen in the wee hours of this morning in shock? Yes. But I’m not hanging out in the middle of the road ready to get squished by a mindless driver. Possum and I moved to a safer place. Together we will be allies in these times and the times to come. Double down on love and direct it to those generations to come of all species. Roll up your sleeves, there’s work to do. But first, take some time to tend to your beautiful heart.
Sometimes there is stuff that is really easy to be grateful for. You just received a raise, you had a beautiful baby or grandchild, you got your dream house, some goal has been achieved and it’s time to celebrate! Then there is the other kind of gratitude; looking for the good in what is not that pleasant and saying thank you. Reminding myself to re-frame and rename until I can cultivate some authentic little feeling of gratitude. It’s a practice. Sometimes I forget that I have that tool in my toolbox. Right now it may be the most potent tool of all.
I have voted and now there is simply to cultivate stability.
Today is election day in the United States, Woo Hoo! For those of us that are empaths, at least myself, I have felt this static kind of energy buzzing about in the field for days. Now I just invite myself to come home to my own home. I have voted and right now there is simply to cultivate stability. Part of that comes from being in my own energetic field, my own physical and emotional home, and the home of the present moment. Not a week from now, not two days ago, not ten years ago…here and now.
After I voted last night I decided I deserve a treat. I’m sure I”m the only one that has that sneaky machinery. The witness presence was watching this voice that said, ‘Go get a cookies and cream shake right now.’ This election has been…fill in your own blank. A cookies and cream shake will make it all better. Smile to the mind, don’t always believe it. I was feeling this anticipation of my cookies and cream shake when this other voice came in…’Do you really want that right now?’ ‘How are you going to feel one minute after you eat it?’ So, even though my car was on the way to the cookies and cream shake place, I veered off. But I didn’t veer off the ‘I want a treat damn it!‘ I settled for buying and eating a small fries order, something I never go buy. Eating that after depositing my vote in a drop box felt like some sort of self soothing. Even if not the most healthy self soothing. I was happy and grateful to eat some fries.
Then there is this morning. Did I mention it’s election day? Woo Hoo! After sitting meditation I fed the animals. Then heated up another, only in the last week eating choice, a microwave meal for breakfast. Just so didn’t want to bother with cooking. At the time I was walking over to eat my breakfast, I noticed my cat was eating some plastic thing. I leaned over to grab it out of his mouth. Just the magic moment for my guides to do double duty. First they knocked the microwave meal out of my hand so it landed upside down on the dog hair laden carpet, simultaneously they knocked one lens out of my glasses which fell off my head. I was pissed. But what are you going to do? If you ask for guidance all of the time, don’t be surprised when it comes. And don’t stay too upset about how it comes. Looking at my upside down breakfast on the dog carpet was a bummer. I did shake my fist in the air. “Why-I-oughtta…..” say thank you.
‘Looking at my upside down breakfast on the dog carpet was a bummer.‘
Did I mention today is the presidential election? Just saying I have been partaking in a news fast for the last several days and it has helped my inner stability substantially. That means I have not consumed news stories. My goal was to fast until today, election day. For the most part, with one small peak at one story (Go Bernie!), I succeeded for five days. It’s a victory. So now that challenge could be complete.
The lens falling out of my glasses is a familiar nudge from Spirit to pay attention to what I am paying attention to. We think of consumption in terms of food, like eating an enchilada and beans is consuming food. But what we consume electronically is also food. My guides were saying, “Hey!” “Do you really want that cookies and cream shake?” But this is about media stories during election day or the coming aftermath that follows the election. Electronic news stories, games, movies are all types of food too. What is the quality of what I”m consuming?
Of course I could have stayed angry that my convenient meal got toppled into gross dog hair, but I chose to look for the humor of my ever present guides. The eyeglass lens is a repetitive theme from Spirit. They mess with my eye glasses when they want me to pay attention to how and what I am seeing. This is not the first and I am confident it is not the last clean your lens opportunity. I still need to clean my lens because it fell into enchilada sauce. But first I wanted to write this blogpost. Because it may give you good food for thought on this day and the days to come. May it nourish a smile and a deep breath for you. Remember humor when cleaning the glass. And take time to smell the flowers.
Has anyone else out there noticed that the media, besides letting us know some of what is going on in the world, has a tendency to feed fear? Or anger? Or polarity? I am just saying. Do a little self test and see how your anxiety level is before versus after or during reading/watching the news. Doesn’t even matter which news, I think most do that. Don’t take my word for it, do some internal investigation. Also, just like sugar, news can be addictive. Drama can be addictive. “Othering” can be addictive.
I am challenging myself to a media fast. Just until the U.S. election is over. “WHAT?” That is 5 whole days! The world could end if I don’t check the news. Smile to the mind, wink at that inner voice that so wants to be believed and guide your choices. Smile to the mind, but don’t always believe it. Even if I didn’t make it all the way through, I’m sure challenging myself to a media fast will drastically reduce media consumption. At the same time it could drastically increase creativity and joy.
Media consumption is a lazy habit that distracts from creativity. Do I want to take in other peoples’ pictures or create my own pictures from my own heart vision of what my life and world could look like? It can be tricky to do both at the same time. I am including ya’ all, the vast thousands (in my imagination) blog readers that find inspiration and/or soothing from this blog…to join in the no news until after the election challenge. Makes me smile to issue that invitation to one and all. I’m not attached to if anyone accepts the challenge but it would be fun if someone did.
At the same time it could drastically increase my creativity and joy.
Think of it as an experiment. What rises to the surface when you even consider this challenge, much less accept it? What other things do I/we want to feed with the attention that might otherwise be spent on news stories or election fear? Just for a bit. Can always go back to news afterwards. It’s like gluten, or sugar, or any other substance you have a hunch might have a toxic effect on you. Experiment with some time sans (without) that substance. For me, it is an experiment in more mindful choices around my electronics. Specifically an experiment starting today, to go without news. Wish me luck.
Electronics includes on line yoga, it includes tibetan music, my on line meditation group that is zoom manifested. So I’m not going completely off line. That experiment and challenge can be for another time. It takes enough courage to just do the no news challenge…for five days. Especially given the collective energy of uncertainty in the United States now. But that collective energetic field is actually why I am doing this challenge at this time. I can cultivate inner stability and calm through taking a turn away from fear and anxiety.
I can cultivate inner stability and calm…
May this challenge inspire an ocean of creativity, connection with nature and loved ones. May it open up some kind of magic that is completely unexpected. Let the games begin!
I don’t know about you, but I am a bit of a list maker. Lately I’ve been a lazy, on strike list maker. Nevertheless, lists are part of my daily mojo. This morning was a slow start ‘make coffee and write’ morning. That’s until my friend texted me, “Any chance you can hike Sobrannes?” A full body ‘Yes!’ arose when I read the text. Suddenly, the slumpy energy of nesting and writing disappeared into get those hiking boots on girl, right now! Sometimes it’s easier to rally energy when some playmate is out there wanting to meet at the monkey bars. My monkey bars is nature and yet it often doesn’t make the to do list. Like, I have the mail in ballot on my kitchen table to fill out, my rent contract to renew, and the house…oh MY…the house is a disaster zone. Don’t forget the dog, got to walk the dog, and the cat box! You get the idea. But a full body yes, is a full body yes and it means get those hiking boots on.
Part of joy is having tribe…
Whenever we meet it is usually non stop heart talk while walking together through beauty. From sharing dreams and the medicine that came from the dream, to sharing family secrets, and everywhere in between including the upcoming election. This is a friend who I heard her name come through sitting in my car in the driveway, out of the blue. So, I googled the name to find a local Art Therapist (whatever that is) near Big Sur. Like me, she respects and listens to guidance, so when I reached out way back when we connected right away. I know Spirit gifted me this soul sister at the right time. Hiking in Big Sur with her is so much easier to rally for when my mind is telling me ‘I’m too tired for that.’ Part of joy is having tribe, folks who get you and that you can pick right back up with even if it’s been a year since seeing each other.
Where is your joy? How often do you hear the voice in your head saying, ‘yeah, but I don’t really have time for that today.’ Or for me it was, ‘I don’t have the energy for that today.’ Or for some it might be, ‘I don’t have the money for that today.’ Joy is waiting. You and only you know what feeds your joy.
Especially during these times, it’s vital to know what brings light to your eyes. We all need a little more of that, people who are lit up from the inside by their own lives. With the collective energy field in tumult it’s even more important, not less important, to feed joy. I forget that sometimes. So compelled to do my part for Gaza, to show up in ways that are a bit heavy and hard. I show up to places it’s hard to see if it’s making a positive difference at all. It’s even more important to feed joy, so my stamina and commitment last for the long haul.
There is also the western programming, “When this, then that.” When everything else is perfect, I will nourish myself. When I have a degree, that’s when my life starts. When there is whirled peas, or world peace, that is when I can exhale. When my house is not a disaster zone, I can go hike in the sunshine. The if this, thenthat can hide in the background unseen running the show if we don’t pull the curtain back to witness it. ‘If people would wake up, then I could be happy.’ Kay, maybe just be happy and help people (including myself) wake up, instead.
Taking time to feed joy could look as simple as enjoying what I’m already doing. Yesterday I walked my dog at Asilomar, which is one of my favorite heart places. Even though he is 90+ doggo years old and we walk very slowly…we had a blast. Taking the judgment and comparison out and just being there, being with an aging being can also bring joy.
Especially during these times, it’s vital to know what brings light to your eyes.
Even rest can bring joy. Sitting in the sun and consciously inviting in the warmth of the sun onto my face. Choosing to let go of the ‘to dos’ even if for just five minutes. Connecting with the power and warmth of the sun to Restore energy can bring joy. The thing that zaps energy is when the mind runs amock with the ‘here comes the judge!’ channel. Self judgement or judgement of others are not the miracle grow for joy. I think acceptance and grace are more likely the gatekeepers. Even if it is acceptance of judgemental me, and grace that I can let it go at any time.
Acceptance, grace, patience, and humility help me water the seeds of joy. It’s not like I don’t have other seeds…guilt, shame, fear or anger. We all have all of it, whether it is currently popping it’s head above ground or staying dormant. The heavier emotions can zap energy. So knowing ways to refill the tank on a regular basis is part of self care right now. Also knowing ways to honor and release grief. I see within me the belief, what right do I have to feed joy when there are so many beings suffering right now? Many of them suffering as a direct result of my government’s weapons? How do I deserve joy, then?
Well, to that voice within I can attest that not wanting to get out bed in the morning does absolutely nothing for those beings who are suffering. Falling into despair can be a natural reaction to so much that feels beyond control…but finding ways out of despair is the medicine for our time. Part of that is permission to imbibe in joy. Having traveled the world earlier in my life I can tell you this; the brightest lights have come out of the deepest darkness. The people that I met during my travels that had experienced tragedy, and had composted it. They radiated light in such a powerful way. Some of them exuded joy, even though there was absolutely no visible reason in their circumstances that explained that joy. Their spiritual path helped them transcend their life circumstances and become a light house. So instead of feeling guilty about what my government is doing, I can see people in excruciating circumstances in their own resilience and power. I can also show up to be a voice for them.
Looking at myself with the eyes of compassion when that ‘Do I really deserve joy?’ rises, takes recognizing the part of me that might think I don’t deserve joy. Yes, we all deserve joy. Every single one of us deserve joy as our natural birth right. Driving to Big Sur, rocking out in the car to Rising Appalachia songs (go check their music out), I know feeding my own joy brings more light into the world. Here’s another secret, it also gives me energy to come back to the heavier work that I’m also called to. Watering seeds of joy and light gives me strength and courage to show up for the rest of it. So, what if you didn’t procrastinate your own joy? What if?
Every Day Magic 